When I think of my cousin Jamie, I always see her the same way, the way she walked up to me when she was living: her chin is slightly down, her eyes shine, and she’s smiling already, pre-emptively delighted at whatever cousin nonsense we’re about to get up to. I’m sure we must have approached… Continue reading Eulogy in a Minor Key
Category: Personal Essays
Grief in a Year
It's January 13th. Friday the 13th, in fact. That means it's been just about a year - time is fuzzy so I don't remember the exact date - since I found out that my cousin Jamie was very ill. Seriously ill. Terminally ill, as it turns out. I know it's been almost a year because… Continue reading Grief in a Year
On Depression I
I've never tried to describe my depression before. Mine is seasonal, creeping up on me during October, when I'm distracted by falling leaves and choosing a Halloween costume for my daughter and deciding when is the actual point that I can start eating and drinking pumpkin-flavored things (a side note: time is a construct and… Continue reading On Depression I
On Bodies I
TW: Eating disorders, body dysmorphia, weight loss, infertility I've been feeling a change in the relationship I have with my body coming for a while now. It's like I've been standing close to the edge of a cliff, and I’m not so far away that I'm not aware there's just empty space all the way… Continue reading On Bodies I
Daydreaming
She was sitting on the porch, after having forced herself outside to relax. She wasn't happy about it. She wasn't necessarily unhappy about it, either, but relaxing usually meant sinking back into the corner of the sectional to watch another episode of Netflix or turn on Harry Potter on streaming. "Watching," of course, being less… Continue reading Daydreaming
Grief in the Time of Covid
I wrote this piece over seven months ago. At the time, the death toll in the United States from Covid-19 was around 170,000, and (most) of the country was still reeling from the fact that we had passed 150,000. The virtual Democratic National Convention was just beginning, and Joe Biden had just announced Kamala Harris… Continue reading Grief in the Time of Covid
Nothing Down the Drain 